№ 3 ~the Dating Sim meme~

[english_edition_desk]

THE DATING SIM MEME
"I must return to my people with the spoils of war, lay my bloodied sword at the feet of my great king,
and celebrate my conquest of all the lands from here to distant Macedonia!"

Congratulations, you're stuck in a dating sim. Hilarious text options pop up out of thin air after every question
and trigger phrase, and you can't feel creeped out by it. You better choose the right answers or...well you know what will happen.

♥Your character is the protagonist of their thread.♥
♥Each responding character will supply a list of two to four options for them to choose from.♥
♥???♥
♥Jam it in? ...or not. It's entirely up to you.♥

Comments

[mistersimpatia]

>> Refuse both.

"I don't paint." he rolls his eyes, "But I can draw while you paint." With this he sits up slowly, and wanders around the room before coming back with a sketchpad and pencil he's jacked from someone else's workspace. He sits next to Feli's easel, facing toward him so that his sketch can't be seen, and begins measuring lines. This room looks like a good place to try blueprinting.

[morethanpasta]

Feliciano goes back to painting the mouse, working on the eyes now, but every now and then he will peek at your drawing. His attempts to peek remain unsuccessful, so in the end Feli dropes himself all over your shoulder for a good look.

"Ve~ I want to see!"

> Shake him off
> Show him the drawing
> Be flustered

[mistersimpatia]

>> Be flustered.

Maybe he caught a glimpse of the straight lines and careful measurements, but Lovino is quick to clutch the drawing to his chest, turn red and glare accusingly at Feli, as if he's just murdered their (possibly mutual) family. "Go away, damnit."

[morethanpasta]

"Aww!" He thrusts his bottom lip forward and gives you a wounded look. "You didn't have to be mean about it." But he's not going away, he's just getting closer wrapping an arm around your waist and cuddling you.

> Shove him off
> Die from embarrassment
> Hug him back

[mistersimpatia]

>> Die from embarrassment.

Or at least try very hard to do so.

He shakes his head and leans away from Feli, growling in irritation and pouting right back, "Get off me, damnit. Go away. I want to draw now, so let me draw."

[morethanpasta]

"But you can draw while I'm hugging you!"

This boy can be very persistent when he's feeling affectionate and too bad, he happens to be in an affectionate mood right now. So he simply leans close again when you inch away.

"Please?"

> Surrender gracefully.
> No surrender. You're having it your way.

[mistersimpatia]

>> No surrender. You're having it your way.

"B.. get off me, idiot!" he growls and tries to shove him off, which results mostly in straining his arm from the awkward position and dislodging his drawing for it to face right toward Feli.

This drawing is actually a diagram of the room, labeling the cabinets and their contents and the workspaces he's familiar with, one of which is labeled "Feli's Space". On second thought, he definitely should've written "Feliciano" there. It's not like he's close enough to this boy to use a nickname.

[morethanpasta]

Feliciano makes a happy little noise at the back of his throat, it looks like he interprets it as you having decided to show him your work.

"You draw nice blueprints! I can't draw blueprints well. And you called me Feli!" He grins brilliantly. "That means we are friends, you give nicknames to your friends!"

> Agree.
> No, you aren't.
> Whatever.

[mistersimpatia]

>> No, you aren't.

He hangs his head in defeat and curls up around his blueprint, "Sh.. shut up, damnit... I'm not your friend, and I don't want to be, alright?"

[morethanpasta]

Feli pulls back abruptly and looks at you with wounded eyes. "But... I thought..." He splutters a bit more, unable to form a coherent sentence before he finally manages it. "But you were nice to me! And I think of you as my friend!"

> It's one-sided
> Alright, you're friends
> Time for a distraction

[mistersimpatia]

>> It's one-sided.

"You're not my friend, and I'm not yours. We just met, damnit. We're... we're aquaintances." he can't quite pronounce that right. It's the first time he's tried saying it. "That's it."

[morethanpasta]

"Oh! I never had any of these." He pauses to think about that. "What do you do with one? Can you give them hugs and kisses? I only have friends and strangers and scary people... and teachers, but you're not supposed to hug and kiss them."

> Tell Feli's an idiot
> Explain

[mistersimpatia]

>> Explain.

Forcefully.

"No, idiot." he huffs. "It's someone you know that you're not friends with but you're not enemies with them either. Alright? You don't hug them and you definitely don't kiss them, damnit. You just... know them." or something.

[morethanpasta]

"That sounds boring. And complicated." Feliciano wrinkles his nose and taps paintbrush against the tip, leaving a yellow dab of paint there. "Are you sure that we can't be friends instead?"

> Yes, yes, very sure
> Well...
> Bang your head against the wall

[mistersimpatia]

>> Yes, yes, very sure.

That doesn't stop him from grabbing a rag from nearby and scrubbing Feli's face, "Stop being stupid. No, we can't, especially when you keep acting so dumb. I'd be embarrassed to have a friend like you, damnit."

[morethanpasta]

"But..." He pushes the hand holding the rag aside to gaze at you with soulful, wounded puppy eyes. "That's mean. Why are you so being so mean to me all of sudden? Did I make you angry?" He coos sadly. "I thought you liked me. You hugged me and you let me kiss you."

> Splutter in embarrassment
> Deny it. Deny everything.
> Be annoyed.
> Well, alright...

[mistersimpatia]

>> Deny it. Deny everything.

That's not quite working right now.

>> Sputter in embarrassment.

"I... y... b... s-shut up!" he growls, shuts his eyes tight and drops the rag to cover his ears, "Y-you're annoying, damnit! Leave me alone!"

[morethanpasta]

"Now you're just being silly," the boy declares and plucks the rag from your head. He holds it protectively to his chest. "And I'm not annoying! But if you really want me to I'll leave you alone."

After another wounded look, he goes back to painting.

> Ignore him back
> Hey, hey, what's he doing ignoring you?

[mistersimpatia]

Well good riddance.

...

>> Hey, hey, what's he doing ignoring you?

He deal with this very well. By going back to drawing, but making a good show of ignoring Feli. Complete with glancing up childishly, whining to go with it when he sees Feli not paying attention, and the like.

[morethanpasta]

So much for ignoring him. Feliciano had tried really hard, he had tried his very hardest, but in the end he finds it impossible and lowers his paintbrush in defeat.

The boy leans his head tentatively against yours and coos. "You're funny!"

> Be outraged
> Be amused
> What the hell?

[mistersimpatia]

>> Be outraged!

"I'm not funny!" he protests loudly and drops the drawing to hit Feli with the back of his hand. "I said leave me alone, idiot!"

[morethanpasta]

"Ow!" He rubs his head, shooting you an indignant glare, complete with pouty lips and little huff.

"I didn't mean ha-ha funny, I meant weird funny!"

> Be even more outraged
> Be chagrined
> Make a fool of yourself

So. Lovi. Dating sim. How's that goin' for you? //tomato'd

[mistersimpatia]

>> Make a fool of yourself.

Not what Lovi actually chooses to do, but the options never lie.

"I'm not weird! I'm completely fucking normal, alright!? There's nothing weird about me or anyone I know, so fuck off because you're weird! So fucking there!"

About as well as can be expected, I suppose. At least he's no longer mistaken for a serial killer.

[morethanpasta]

Feliciano gives him a long, puzzled look. Very, very slowly, he scrunches up his nose. He taps his brush against his nose again, though this time with the wooden end. He doesn't want to have his nose scrubbed again. "You're really, really weird. And you get upset about weird things. And you yell a lot."

He purses his lips. "But I like you anyway."

> Feel humiliated
> Sulk some more
> Time for a tactical retreat

That is progress. Lovi.. please give up. XD

[mistersimpatia]

>> Feel humiliated.

He proceeds to hang his head and whine loudly, before falling only his side comically and curling up into a ball to whine some more. Yes, this is what being productive is all about.