№ 3 ~the Dating Sim meme~

[english_edition_desk]

THE DATING SIM MEME
"I must return to my people with the spoils of war, lay my bloodied sword at the feet of my great king,
and celebrate my conquest of all the lands from here to distant Macedonia!"

Congratulations, you're stuck in a dating sim. Hilarious text options pop up out of thin air after every question
and trigger phrase, and you can't feel creeped out by it. You better choose the right answers or...well you know what will happen.

♥Your character is the protagonist of their thread.♥
♥Each responding character will supply a list of two to four options for them to choose from.♥
♥???♥
♥Jam it in? ...or not. It's entirely up to you.♥

Comments

[mistersimpatia]

>> Insist on the mouse.

"Yeah, sure, something store-bought that's being fed to it by humans." he rolls his eyes, "Where's the pride in that, damnit? Any good cat would want to actually hunt something, get a challenge and show they can do something humans can't. Give it a mouse."

[morethanpasta]

"Ve..." He is clearly still unhappy, but he can't argue with you and begins work on the mouse. "You are smart." The boy thinks for a moment. "About cats."

> Thank him.
> Take offense.
> Be amused.

[mistersimpatia]

>> Be amused.

"And you're dumb. About cats." he scoffs, although in an arguably more friendly manner than before. "But you're good at drawing them. I guess." now he's watching the mouse's creation, that is how he will decide on whether to truly classify Feli as a good artist. A good artist would know how to make the mouse's eyes look dead, but not make it subtract from the picture's mood. Lovi is not a good artist.

[morethanpasta]

"Ve~!" The boys give you a brilliant smile before he returns his attention to his painting. He is humming again, for a little while anyway.

"Who are you?" he asks while he adds delicate whiskers to the limp mouse's face. The cat is holding the mouse's body proudly in its mouth, tail and head are hanging down limply.

> Tell him your name.
> Demand to know his name first.
> Refuse to tell him.

[mistersimpatia]

>> Tell him your name.

Before someone else mentions his nickname.

"Lovino Vargas." he grumbles it as a sidenote while he lays his head on Feli's to watch the painting unfold. There. Comfier. "You?"

[morethanpasta]

The boy twists his head to stare and blink and stare some more without dislodging you. "Feliciano," he says finally. "Feliciano Vargas." He laughs, sounding somewhat uncertain. "I would have never guessed that it is such a common name! I never met a stranger with my name before!"

> Inquire about his family.
> Agree that it is a funny coincidence.

[mistersimpatia]

...And then he leans down to stare back.

>> Inquire about his family.

"Think we might be related? Who's your dad?" he fails to sound nonchalant; this is interesting.

[morethanpasta]

Feliciano puts down the paint brush and folds his hands in his lap. He gazes sadly at his fingers. "I never knew him. My Grandpa raised me, but he died when I was very small, I didn't even go to school yet. I live with the Edelsteins ever since. With Roderich and his wife Elizaveta. Ve... she wasn't his wife yet when he took me in, she was his maid, but..." He trails off and meets your eyes, blinking slowly. "But that's not very interesting for you."

> No, no, it's very interesting, go on.
> Ask further questions about his birth family.
> Tell him about your family.

[mistersimpatia]

>> Tell him about your family.

"I never knew any of my family." He shrugs. "My grandpa was off with some other grandchild of his, and he died when I was in elementary school. I live with... Antonio Carrieda. He's single, and really stupid. He used to be married to someone named Roderich, though. That's weird." he scrunches his nose at the memory, "That guy was a dick."

[morethanpasta]

"Uwah... That's a lot of funny name coincidences!" Feliciano purses his lips pensively. "I don't know if my Roderich was married before but he isn't a dick!" He hesitates and his mouth forms an o. "I said a forbidden word... Elizaveta would wash out of my mouth with soap... She uses worse words all the time but she gets upset if I do it." He shakes his head. "But Roderich isn't bad, he's just very strict. He doesn't like me running in the house or being loud or having siesta."

> Insult Feliciano's Roderich.
> Talk about Antonio.
> Tell him to keep painting.

[mistersimpatia]

>> Insult Feliciano's Roderich.

"Strict works for him too... I remember him just being an asshole. He kicked 'Tonio out of his house the day he came home with me." he shrugs, "Oh, and 'Tonio used to say he'd wash my mouth out too, but he never did. He lets me do whatever the hell I want." or rather, he's given up on trying to control him.

[morethanpasta]

Feliciano pouts again when you speak of Roderich being an asshole, he gives you a look which is supposed to be a glare. He is quite pathetic at glaring.

"He probably thought you were his son with another woman!" He picks up the paintbrush to wave it around in the air, splattering paint drops everywhere. "And your 'Tonio should wash out your mouth with soap, it isn't nice to talk like that about other people!"

> Who cares? You don't want to be nice.
> Freak out. There are paint splatters on your shirt.
> Distract Feliciano.

I think they just reversed the normal flow of the genre.

[mistersimpatia]

...His eye twitches involuntarily when a splatter hits his shirt. Yeah, this is too much on his temper.

>> Who cares? You don't want to be nice.

"You know what else isn't nice? Getting pulled off the street and beaten up for being different. Or getting money you needed to stop those people who will beat you up, so that the thief can buy a soda. Or when the closest thing you have to a father keeps going off for weeks at a time and leaving you all alone when you don't know how to defend yourself, and coming home drunk and bruised just to slur about how great things were before you came into his life! It doesn't matter how fucking nice I am to other people, I'll still get treated like shit!" He turns on his heel and plops down on the ground to sulk. You can just tell he wants to be comforted.

They rock at subverting tropes. *cough*youaren'tsupposedtobullyyoursemeLovi*cough*

[morethanpasta]

Feliciano is a mute spectator to your outburst, the only reactions are the widening of his eyes and the downright painful-looking manner in which he is clinging to his paintbrush.

He remains quiet and motionless for a long moment when you are done, then he drops to his knees in front of you. Cooing softly, he reaches out to wrap you in his arms.

> Let him hug you.
> Fend him off.
> Run away.

They are trope ninjas XD Scariest uke and gentlest seme.

[mistersimpatia]

>> Let him hug you.

Grudgingly.

And yet he still manages to make it seem like he doesn't want the hug while half-turning to cling back to his possible family member. Some nuzzling may or may not be included.

They take expectations, beat them to death and dance on their corpses.

[morethanpasta]

Feliciano hums a tune under his breath while he runs his fingers through your hair and gently rocks you. He is turning red under your nuzzling all the while. "It's alright," he murmurs, "everything will be well, you aren't alone. I will... You can hide here with me. No one ever comes here outside of class. They think it's boring and smells funny."

> Thank him.
> Tell him you don't need to hide.
> Keep hugging him.

And the dance is from a country they rarely interract with.

[mistersimpatia]

>> Tell him you don't need to hide.

Which is a complete and utter lie.

"If I come here it'll be to keep you company, damnit. Lovino fucking Vargas doesn't hide." still, he presses closer against Feli and sighs, "And fuck them, it smells find in here. They don't get good art."

[morethanpasta]

The boy opens his mouth to say something, probably to point out that you are hiding right now, but a new thought distracts him at the very last moment. "Ve~! I have an idea! You should paint with me! Or... or I could paint you!" He huffs. "But I won't paint you with a dead mouse in your mouth!"

> Agree to painting lessons.
> Agree to be painted.
> Agree to both.
> Refuse both.
> Do you look like a cat? No, you don't think so.

[mistersimpatia]

>> Refuse both.

"I don't paint." he rolls his eyes, "But I can draw while you paint." With this he sits up slowly, and wanders around the room before coming back with a sketchpad and pencil he's jacked from someone else's workspace. He sits next to Feli's easel, facing toward him so that his sketch can't be seen, and begins measuring lines. This room looks like a good place to try blueprinting.

[morethanpasta]

Feliciano goes back to painting the mouse, working on the eyes now, but every now and then he will peek at your drawing. His attempts to peek remain unsuccessful, so in the end Feli dropes himself all over your shoulder for a good look.

"Ve~ I want to see!"

> Shake him off
> Show him the drawing
> Be flustered

[mistersimpatia]

>> Be flustered.

Maybe he caught a glimpse of the straight lines and careful measurements, but Lovino is quick to clutch the drawing to his chest, turn red and glare accusingly at Feli, as if he's just murdered their (possibly mutual) family. "Go away, damnit."

[morethanpasta]

"Aww!" He thrusts his bottom lip forward and gives you a wounded look. "You didn't have to be mean about it." But he's not going away, he's just getting closer wrapping an arm around your waist and cuddling you.

> Shove him off
> Die from embarrassment
> Hug him back

[mistersimpatia]

>> Die from embarrassment.

Or at least try very hard to do so.

He shakes his head and leans away from Feli, growling in irritation and pouting right back, "Get off me, damnit. Go away. I want to draw now, so let me draw."

[morethanpasta]

"But you can draw while I'm hugging you!"

This boy can be very persistent when he's feeling affectionate and too bad, he happens to be in an affectionate mood right now. So he simply leans close again when you inch away.

"Please?"

> Surrender gracefully.
> No surrender. You're having it your way.

[mistersimpatia]

>> No surrender. You're having it your way.

"B.. get off me, idiot!" he growls and tries to shove him off, which results mostly in straining his arm from the awkward position and dislodging his drawing for it to face right toward Feli.

This drawing is actually a diagram of the room, labeling the cabinets and their contents and the workspaces he's familiar with, one of which is labeled "Feli's Space". On second thought, he definitely should've written "Feliciano" there. It's not like he's close enough to this boy to use a nickname.